Families have lots of moments. There are the stressful, angry, sad and reactive moments. And there are moments filled with love, joy, laughter, and wonder. We weave these moments together to create our story and our family's story. Some of you are ready for a different story.
6 Ways to Create a New Story For 2012
1. Be the author of your story
In other words, write your own story. Don't sit back and let others take over your story. As moms we can fall into some bad habits and let everyone else write our story. Part of the problem is that we don't value our story, and don't prioritize or make time for it.
If you are not writing your story and just living everyone else's story, you are not going to be happy. In fact you are on the fast track to being resentful.
Remember you can write your story.
2. Get clear
To write your story you need to be clear. Ask yourself these questions.

• What do you want and what do you NOT want? How do I want to be treated? What activities do I want to be involved in?
• Who do you want to be or how do you want to feel in the story? I want to enjoy my family. I want to be confident. I want to feel energized.
• What does it look like? Can you picture it? The more details the better. I pick my daughter up from school. I am relaxed and enjoy being with her. I can see my daughter smiling and telling me about a test she aced. (Have fun with the story) You might as well go for it.
• What action do you need to take for your story to happen? Once you are clear about your story, then you can take action. If it is overwhelming, just take the smallest step possible that will take you in the right direction.

Remember your story will be written by everyone else if you are not clear.
3. There is no 'perfect story'
The goal is not to have a 'perfect story'. A perfect story is boring. No one goes to see a movie about a perfect family. We like movies where the underdog triumphs against all odds and finds romance, makes the team, or destroys all the evil in the universe.
Many mothers feel pressured to have the 'perfect family.' You have to be a perfect mother and wife. Your house is perfect. Your relationships are perfect. Your kids and husband are perfect.
It's not going to happen. There is no such thing as a 'perfect family'. It is impossible. If you believe this you will be constantly disappointed. You will be disappointed in yourself and your spouse and kids. Constant disappointment leaves you feeling like a failure.
The goal is to have a 'hopeful story' not a 'perfect story'.
4. Create a 'hopeful story'
The main difference between a 'hopeful story' and a 'perfect story' is where you place your focus. In a 'perfect story' you focus on your failures-- where you are not perfect. It discredits everything you have accomplished. For example if your daughter rages at you in the 'perfect story' she has let you down. You feel like a bad parent. That's all you can think about. This wipes out all the good memories of your daughter. It's like none of the good memories counts. Your focus narrows down to that one incident where she raged.
A 'hopeful story' looks for evidence that things are getting better. A 'hopeful story' knows that we are all imperfect. The point is to grow and learn from the mistakes. It is a 'hopeful story' because it gives you credit for what you are accomplishing. A hopeful story sees the big picture. It doesn't leave out any information.
In the same scenario the 'hopeful story' would see the incident with the daughter in context. You would remember that your daughter is hardwired for drama and it's not personal. You can still like your daughter and give her a consequence. You see it as a teaching opportunity. Your daughter takes responsibility for her actions and volunteers to make dinner for you.
You see her grow from the experience.
5. Let go of the story you don't want.
To create a hopeful story you have to let go of the story you do not want. If you cling to your 'perfect story' about your daughter then you will see your daughter as annoying and rude and you can't wait for her to get out of the house.
You have a choice. What story do you really want?
Let go of the old story by forgiving her. It's OK that she is not perfect. She is still in process. Believe in her new story and let go of the resentment.
You can't create a new story when you are holding on to your old story.
6. Create a backdrop of downtime, play, adventure and fun
Not all the moments in your family are going to be fun. You do have to make sure she gets her homework done. You are her prefrontal cortex and you need to reel her in when she is making bad decisions. But this doesn't have to be all the time.
Be intentional to create other moments. Schedule downtime where both of you are hanging out and there is no pressure to get anything done. In other words relax together. Try taking a mini-adventure together. Have a girl date. To sum it up, create positive experiences with your daughter.
Take 30 minutes to an hour and write out your new story for 2012.

Colleen O'Grady encourages and empowers women to live their highest and best life. From her coaching programs to her one of a kind therapy sessions, she has helped hundreds of women and teenage girls uncover their true purpose in life, create more happiness, and move to a place of inner peace. Colleen knows that everyone can create this kind of life.
Colleen O'Grady is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist. Her private practice in Houston, Texas has been active for over 20 years. As an approved supervisor on a state and national level, Colleen is sought after to train master-level therapists, psychology and psychiatry residents throughout Houston. Colleen has created innovative coaching programs to give people practical tools for moving forward while also standing on a strong foundation of therapeutic practice.

Families have lots of moments. There are the stressful, angry, sad and reactive moments. And there are moments filled with love, joy, laughter, and wonder. We weave these moments together to create our story and our family's story. Some of you are ready for a different story.
6 Ways to Create a New Story For 2012
1. Be the author of your story
In other words, write your own story. Don't sit back and let others take over your story. As moms we can fall into some bad habits and let everyone else write our story. Part of the problem is that we don't value our story, and don't prioritize or make time for it.
If you are not writing your story and just living everyone else's story, you are not going to be happy. In fact you are on the fast track to being resentful.
Remember you can write your story.
2. Get clear
To write your story you need to be clear. Ask yourself these questions.

• What do you want and what do you NOT want? How do I want to be treated? What activities do I want to be involved in?
• Who do you want to be or how do you want to feel in the story? I want to enjoy my family. I want to be confident. I want to feel energized.
• What does it look like? Can you picture it? The more details the better. I pick my daughter up from school. I am relaxed and enjoy being with her. I can see my daughter smiling and telling me about a test she aced. (Have fun with the story) You might as well go for it.
• What action do you need to take for your story to happen? Once you are clear about your story, then you can take action. If it is overwhelming, just take the smallest step possible that will take you in the right direction.

Remember your story will be written by everyone else if you are not clear.
3. There is no 'perfect story'
The goal is not to have a 'perfect story'. A perfect story is boring. No one goes to see a movie about a perfect family. We like movies where the underdog triumphs against all odds and finds romance, makes the team, or destroys all the evil in the universe.
Many mothers feel pressured to have the 'perfect family.' You have to be a perfect mother and wife. Your house is perfect. Your relationships are perfect. Your kids and husband are perfect.
It's not going to happen. There is no such thing as a 'perfect family'. It is impossible. If you believe this you will be constantly disappointed. You will be disappointed in yourself and your spouse and kids. Constant disappointment leaves you feeling like a failure.
The goal is to have a 'hopeful story' not a 'perfect story'.
4. Create a 'hopeful story'
The main difference between a 'hopeful story' and a 'perfect story' is where you place your focus. In a 'perfect story' you focus on your failures-- where you are not perfect. It discredits everything you have accomplished. For example if your daughter rages at you in the 'perfect story' she has let you down. You feel like a bad parent. That's all you can think about. This wipes out all the good memories of your daughter. It's like none of the good memories counts. Your focus narrows down to that one incident where she raged.
A 'hopeful story' looks for evidence that things are getting better. A 'hopeful story' knows that we are all imperfect. The point is to grow and learn from the mistakes. It is a 'hopeful story' because it gives you credit for what you are accomplishing. A hopeful story sees the big picture. It doesn't leave out any information.
In the same scenario the 'hopeful story' would see the incident with the daughter in context. You would remember that your daughter is hardwired for drama and it's not personal. You can still like your daughter and give her a consequence. You see it as a teaching opportunity. Your daughter takes responsibility for her actions and volunteers to make dinner for you.
You see her grow from the experience.
5. Let go of the story you don't want.
To create a hopeful story you have to let go of the story you do not want. If you cling to your 'perfect story' about your daughter then you will see your daughter as annoying and rude and you can't wait for her to get out of the house.
You have a choice. What story do you really want?
Let go of the old story by forgiving her. It's OK that she is not perfect. She is still in process. Believe in her new story and let go of the resentment.
You can't create a new story when you are holding on to your old story.
6. Create a backdrop of downtime, play, adventure and fun
Not all the moments in your family are going to be fun. You do have to make sure she gets her homework done. You are her prefrontal cortex and you need to reel her in when she is making bad decisions. But this doesn't have to be all the time.
Be intentional to create other moments. Schedule downtime where both of you are hanging out and there is no pressure to get anything done. In other words relax together. Try taking a mini-adventure together. Have a girl date. To sum it up, create positive experiences with your daughter.
Take 30 minutes to an hour and write out your new story for 2012.

Colleen O'Grady encourages and empowers women to live their highest and best life. From her coaching programs to her one of a kind therapy sessions, she has helped hundreds of women and teenage girls uncover their true purpose in life, create more happiness, and move to a place of inner peace. Colleen knows that everyone can create this kind of life.
Colleen O'Grady is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist. Her private practice in Houston, Texas has been active for over 20 years. As an approved supervisor on a state and national level, Colleen is sought after to train master-level therapists, psychology and psychiatry residents throughout Houston. Colleen has created innovative coaching programs to give people practical tools for moving forward while also standing on a strong foundation of therapeutic practice.

// Forever Young-One Direction